Happy observed 4th of July day. It feels strange that it’s Friday today as it feels like Saturday to me. All I know is I have the day off today and that sounds fine.

We had a great time last week up in Wisconsin Dells for a couple nights and then in Lake Geneva for a night. I forgot to take more pictures, so the above will have to suffice. We really got to give Rebecca’s wheelchair an exercise running all over the place and I was pleasantly surprised that it held up just fine with no issues, and was fairly comfortable for her to sit in whether traveling between places, going in and out of shops, and sitting in at restaurants as well.

This week we were scheduled to have chemo on Wednesday, but at the appointment before the treatment Rebecca decided that she didn’t want to do it. They’ve pushed it 2 weeks forward, but she/we have some decisions to make on whether to continue with future treatments or not. The progression of things and the intensity of the side effects make weighing benefits vs quality of life a hard decision. Ultimately it’s her decision of course as I support whatever she decides, but she could use some prayer on what to do and to have peace with whatever that decision is. When an answer for something like this is not clearcut it leaves a lot of room for doubt and second-guessing and a lot of pressure to not make the wrong decision or a selfish decision. Do I prolong things to stay with my family as long as possible despite the physical pain I’ll need to endure, or do I avoid physical pain by making things quicker, or is that selfish and wimpy, or is that actually better because I don’t have to put them through this as long, what does God want me to do and what’s a good way to honor him through this? Etc, etc (things like that I’d imagine). It’s certainly the hardest decision, and the answer varies per situation/person.

Appetite for Rebecca continues to be an issue. Between a dry mouth that doesn’t want any dry foods, not getting hungry, a bloated and distended stomach, and nausea… she isn’t getting more than 500 calories most days. So weakness and muscle loss is a thing and it makes standing more difficult.

This coming week we have radiation on Wednesday, and then I think 4 more sessions of radiation after that. The purpose is to lessen the back pain that has increased intensity over the last few weeks to be worse and worse.

Medications have changed as current pain meds were not sufficient. We do see a palliative care person this week on Tuesday as well. The goal of that is to find the right meds to deal with some of the pains better and keep some of the breakthrough pain at bay. We haven’t found a sweet spot as either there’s no pain but she can barely stay awake or walk, or there is pain but she can function and think better and the pain makes it hard to sit/walk. Since we can’t find the best option it’s kinda been a ping-ponging between those 2 throughout the days/nights.

Sorry that feels like a lot of possibly negative things, but that’s the update, and that’s where we are right now.

250 years is a pretty cool thing, but makes you realize that we are just a baby compared to some other countries. Wishing everyone a happy 4th of July, and I hope you all get some good time with your families in.

Be blessed!